It might seem obvious but your divorce can proceed a lot more smoothly if you can maintain an amicable approach. Avoiding financial and emotional fallout is a lot easier if you avoid making your divorce a battle. Yes it takes two to tango, but even if your ex is very aggressive, not rising to the bait and seeking to diffuse the situation whist being reasonable and assertive can really reap major benefits and minimise financial and emotional damage - particularly where children are involved.
Of course this requires some willpower, strength of character, and diplomacy from you, but at the end of the divorce you should be able to hang on to more of your money (i.e. not spend it needlessly on higher fees caused by battling) and hopefully achieve a more positive state of mind and feel good about yourself as well.
The following ten tips are by no means definitive but may help you towards a smoother and more successful divorce:
- Talk to each other – easier said than done perhaps but the more you talk the easier (and cheaper!) it will be.
- Do not involve the children – whether they are adults or still children it is not fair on them and they won't thank you for it in the long term.
- Don't name the third party – this can cause delay, increase costs and won't make you feel better.
- Don't include every bad thing they've ever done in a Behaviour Petition – mud slinging doesn't help!
- Consider very carefully before you defend a Divorce – it's expensive and if one person believes the marriage has broken down then a Judge may take the same view.
- Take a reasonable view of your spouse's financial needs – yes they do need a roof over their heads and food to eat!
- Try mediation – if you find it difficult to talk to each other then involving a mediator can help!
- Be open with your spouse – you both need to know exactly what money there is and where.
- Don't argue about house contents – it will cost you more than if you bought them new!
- Employ a Solicitor who is a member of Resolution– they will have a non-confrontational approach which will save money, stress and bad feeling!