Do you want to see your children?

Jo Spain, family law solicitor

If you have children, the most difficult part of a relationship breakdown is not seeing them as much as you did before. This is hard enough if you have stayed on good terms with your ex-partner but  if things are so bad that you can't talk about contact  or your ex-partner is refusing  you contact or limiting it then what do you do?

My first piece of advice is – don't give up.  However easy it would be to just stop seeing the children this is certainly something both you and they will regret in the future.  And how difficult will it be to try to rebuild that relationship when the children are adults? Think also of what you will be missing if you stop seeing them – birthdays, Christmas, exam results, their ups and downs...special times which you need to be able to share.  And children do need two parents, they need your love and support as much as your ex-partner's.

A first step is to try to talk to your ex-partner and arrange acceptable contact between you.  If this doesn't work then try going to Mediation where you will meet with an independent Mediator who will help you resolve your problems and agree a way forward.

Sadly, in some cases neither of these options work and your next step may be to contact a Solicitor for assistance.

First Published in Kings Hill Directory in October 2006